he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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