No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
