my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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