Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
