I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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