Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
