Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
She announced her abortion via fbk
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
