using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
where are my pants?
in the oven.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
