I wanna passion pit in your ass
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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