ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
