He felt like a one man threesome
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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