omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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