I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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