Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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