so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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