When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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