I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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