Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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