LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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