I'm jealous of your bromance
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
