On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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