Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
