you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
