Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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