I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
