I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
