Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
