Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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