it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Couch. On fire.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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