So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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