Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
