thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
