There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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