Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
