girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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