Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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