Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize