Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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