I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
