A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
