would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
