let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
