giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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