you guys were way drunker than both of me
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
