i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
