obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
