apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm getting married
To pizza
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
