Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
