I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
