if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
